You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important

Well.. It has been about a year since I have been here and now God is telling me to come back... wow what a year it has been.. I have had my ups and downs and now it is time to document what I have been doing and tell you all my good and bad...

I will tell you since I was last on here that alot of good has happened.. I put up a vision board in January of 2011 and on that vision board I put all the things that I hoped for.  The funny thing is that was the hardest thing for me to do.  I have never been one to have hopes and dreams for myself.. I have always been the person who did that for everyone else.. I am that cheerleader for the visiting team but when it came to my life.. I just existed.  I was conditioned as an early child not to have dreams.. they wouldn't come true... they would get destroyed because of my dad's drinking or my mom's co-dependancy and well sort of not good enough to deserve anything.. 

So here I sat trying to cut out things to put on my board and WOAH.. I couldn't think of anything.. Satan tried to block my blessings by telling me I am not good enough.. soooooo I fought that little dark angel and started thinking of things.. I put a vacation with my kids, and adorable toy yorkie and the UNTHINKABLE.. my wedding dress and ring... CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZY... I have never been one of those little girls that dreamed of a wedding dress or even picking out one.. I never thought I was good enough to wear a wedding dress... and still it is sinking in.. but I put it up there anyways just to remind me I do deserve it.. 

It terrifies me... the word Love.. I never got love so it is a scary word.  I got dealt the crazy card with parents and sibling and I love them all.. but for some reason they couldn't love me back... So instead of becoming bitter.. I love the world to death.. I am  the crazy girl that will hug you without you even knowing me.. you are like why is she coming close to me.. is she going tooo??? omg she hugged me.. ha .. I am sure that is random.. I am still in the struggles of the word Love but I am working on it.. I am a work in progress every day I open my eyes..  

Well the good news is.. the whole year of 2011 none of my vision 

board came true... so when it came to 2012... I looked at my son Jaden and was like .. well none of it came true.. so I am not going to change it and see what happens.. Well my negative nancy side got a slap in the face... I got my dog.. her name is Chloe... and I even had her name on my vision board.. And I got to go on the family vacation that I put on there to go to Chicago...

Sooooooooooo... the moral of this story is.. that even though Satan is telling you that you are not good enough .. you don't deserve God's Blessings.. well Liar Liar pants on fire.. YOU DO... you just have to believe it.. so I encourage you to dream.. dream big.. and know that you are so special that I can happen to you.. so put it on your wall... speak it into your life.. and when that voice in your heads says no.. YOU SLAP SATAN SILLY AND SAY YES..  I AM.. believe me.. if this little girl can believe it so can you..  REMEMBER .. YOU IS KIND, YOU IS SMART, YOU IS IMPORTANT.. see you till next blog.. oh do I have stories for you.. :)