LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS... :)

Those pictures were from my 42nd birthday while I lived in Hollywood.... I hated to leave there because I made amazing friends and I felt as I was leaving my heart there.. But again.. God's will is more important to me... so off I went to San Diego...:)


I knew it was God's will because I didn't even have the money to move back.. I had no money for the truck or gas to go.. and my unbelievable friends Felicia, Matt and James paid for it and drove the kids and I back to ole San Diego.. so it was HIS plan for me to be back here... 


Now I am back in San Diego...with my mom and my kids.. I still don't know how God is using me out here.. it seems like HE wanted me to repair my relationship with my mom.. and to help her out in some situations and for her to help me out as well.. So I get that.. it is so funny to be 43 years old and a mother and still when your own mother comes in your room and says to clean your room.. you feel like your 13 years old and clean it up... lol


 But through this experience I learned to love myself and trust a man again.. MY GOD.. that is something that I have never did... wow.. what a mess I used to be.. ha ha ha.. One of my friends actually that I haven't seen in years said that she thought that I would be dead by now... WOW... WHAT A COMPLIMENT.. LOL... but it was the truth... I was running around like a chicken with their head cut off..  Who I was in Chicago.. is not who I am now... that little girl back there is gone.. it is funny.. I believe that we are just children in adult bodies playing house... that is really how I feel.. I think that we still cope as adults as we coped as children... I don't know.. just a Nae Nae thought.. lol  but that is how I feel... but the great thing is now I feel whole not like that big hole in my heart that I had back home.  


Well now that I am 43 and I still feel like I am 12...  but my body is telling me I am 43... and the only reason I know that now.. is insanity of MENOPAUSE.. Yes Menopause.. what the hell is this??  It was funny when I turned 42 and I stopped getting my period I was like yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa... and then I got my first hot flash... as my hair was stuck to my head from sweat.. I was like what the heck just happened.. am I dying???.. then I would wake up in a pool of sweat and think.. ok.. did my kids play a joke on me and throw water on me during my sleep??  And then recently I went to bed and woke up with 12 pounds around my thighs and tummy.. seriously.. it was overnight.. I am still dumbfounded on how the heck this happened... ha ha ha.. 


I will tell you THANK GOD... I haven't had that emotional craziness yet.. I remember when my mom went through it... omg.. all of our pots and pans were oval because she would slam them when we would make her mad.. and one time my brother and I didn't put our laundry in the hamper..so my mom took a baseball bat to it.. and wicker flew everywhere.. Yeah.. she had it pretty bad.. LOL.... So I thank God.. he gave me a sense of humor to get through this.. the funny thing is I called the doctor and asked how long will I go through this and she said 5-10 years.. 5 TO 10 YEARS??????????????????????? Seriously.. ?????? This is only time in my life I wanted to have been born a man.... HA.. really.. we get our period, then give birth, then go through menopause... and what do men have.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... ok... you get my point.. lol  


So now I am 43 with menopause.. sounds like a great Match.com Tag line huh?? Hi I am Renee 43 with menopause.. lol Will get a ton of men hitting my profile with that.. lol  But here I am 43 about to turn 44 in July and I am excited about this.. I have always been one of those people that love to be there age.. since my dad passed at 45... I love getting older.. because he never got too... I take my birthdays as LIKE YES.. I MADE IT ANOTHER YEAR.. PRAISE JESUS.. But I am excited on my new life.. my walk with God.. going through the ups and downs but knowing I have a huge arms around me to pick me up when I fall.. the arms of my LORD...  I am excited to see where I am going.. what HE has for me.. I look at my life and laugh everyday because my life is comedy and God is the author.. so if you dare or want.. walk through this journey with me and lets see what happens!!!

Here is a glimpse of my gorgeous children while I was at a meeting.. when I lived in Hollywood.. I love that they have an amazing sense of humor like their mommy!!!!!